What I love about being a spiritual director!

The first time I heard that term I was in awe and a little bit hesitant.

I was attending a class called ‘soul care’ in our church and heard that there were ‘spiritual directors’ who would meet with us one on one. I asked if I could see who they were. I suspected they would rise out of their chairs in the crowd and gaze upon us with great wrinkled brows of wisdom. But there were about ten ordinary looking people who just stood up. They smiled, some were shy, some joked around and they introduced themselves and told a bit of their story. I was amazed. They defined their identity as a complete picture of brokenness and grace from God. They were fully aware of their insecurities, their tendencies to sin, their strengths and gifts from God and most significantly, their desire to pay attention to the story that God is writing in other people’s lives.

The lady that I chose to meet with was very gentle and gracious and watched me snivel my way through 40 tissue’s worth of tears. Some of my tears were out of gratefulness for the holy attentiveness she gave to my words, and other tears were from a deeper place of desire to be free to really know myself in a transparent way and be free to share that with others like she was.

Since that day, I finished that class and signed up for training to become a spiritual director and now work at Urban Sanctuary here in Edmonton. But to avoid this becoming a commercial, let me focus on why I wanted to write about this. There are three things that I love about being a spiritual director and have been mulling this over in my mind all week!

1. I love offering grace. Many people come to the first session with an expectation (much like I had originally) that they will be reprimanded or told or ‘directed’ to live differently. But that is not my role at all. I get to welcome them in, ask them questions, pay attention to their story and offer grace. There is no rush, no formula, no expectation of outcome. It is simply sitting and enjoying a coffee together while their story unfolds, evidence of God’s movement in their life comes to the surface and we get to explore that together. They came in – with the relationship between them and God, and they leave with the relationship still between the two of them. My role is to ask them “How is it with you two?”
2. I love asking questions. In my training, I was told to pay attention to the things I am curious about. So I love to ask questions. The surprising thing I find is that most people love to be ‘asked’. They may feel a little awkward at first, but once they realize that I really will stay with them while they share their thoughts, they seem to relax. Many have not had people who stayed in the thought or moment with them long enough to help them explore what it really means. God knows our thoughts and we barely skim the surface of being aware of our own pondering – so I love asking questions and honoring those important moments with people.
3. I love not knowing the answers! What a relief to know that I don’t need to come up with solutions. As we enter the place in conversation where they know God has been nudging them . . . and we pay attention to what that is like, I am entirely excited to see what God will do. I can suggest certain spiritual disciplines or exercises like: trying solitude, silence, reading, or meditating on Scripture or simplifying life, but until they enter into that quietness of heart with God, they will only hear another persons advice or words. God speaks clearly and freely and will meet them, will give direction, will guide them in very practical ways. My role is just to encourage them to meet with God, somehow, somewhere . . . just to show up . . . and let God have the answers!

It is an amazing honor to invite people to talk about their spiritual life. Most people have more insight and hunches about what God is up to than they even realize and so it is often just in expressing some of those desires of the heart, or confusions, or deepening burdens that clarity begins to come. I’m so thankful to not only receive spiritual direction for my own growth, but to offer it to others as well.

Lack nothing?

“The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.” Psalm 23:1




Okay Lord, but you and I both know about my insecurities. They cause me to lack a lot of things.

I am your shepherd, you lack nothing.

But what about my fears? Don’t they inhibit me from being as productive as I could be? Once those are dealt with then I will be a better person for you.

I am your shepherd, so, again – there is still nothing you lack.

But, what about the way I tend to worry about little things . . . and try to gain people’s approval . . . and what about the days that I am not sure if my motives are out of love or a desire to control a situation or people?

That is why I am your shepherd – and you still – lack nothing.

But Lord, can’t I improve? Can’t I permanently fix these inconsistencies in my life? Wouldn’t that please you more? Wouldn’t you want me around you then? Why do you even bother involving me in your great plans when I stumble so many times?

But you are forgetting, I am your shepherd . . . that is why you lack nothing!

I want to understand . . .

The past few weeks have been busy and this morning, I have an overwhelming desire to understand.  I want to know the implications of my actions and  the effect of my words on others. I don’t feel needy for affirmation but I do feel needy to understand.




I want to somehow pull all the minutes from the past few weeks into my hand and see them, in one glance, and realize all that’s happened. It feels like a blur of conversations, prayers, details and significant and important moments.

And then I thought . . . why? Haven’t the past few weeks been an exercise of letting go? Haven’t I been releasing my tight grip on areas that I’ve wanted to control? Could it actually mean that the reason I have this desire to understand is actually a sign that things have been out of my control? And if that is the case, perhaps it is a time of celebration instead.

What, in fact, could I gain from grasping understanding of everything that has happened?  I could journal (that’s usually how I process things) but this morning it feels deeper than that. I imagine I would analyze, evaluate, regret, feel good, feel bad, make plans for next time . . . all from a human brain with a limited amount of wisdom and a one-sided perspective. Hmmm. . .

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.^“

Proverbs 3:5-6




“Lord, as much as I want to understand  – I am beginning to see that it probably is more about saving myself from looking stupid or unorganized or ill-prepared. It is a desire to contain all the ways that You have helped me pour out to people and drag that all back into one place for understanding.

It’s not my business, is it Lord? You want to pour Your love out to this world, through my life. That is your business. Forgive me for wanting to control through understanding. Thank you for this understanding that you have granted me so generously today. amen.”

How do you smell?

As I sit here this morning, sipping my coffee and thinking about the past weekend, I’m curious about how I smell. I mean, as I met with old and new friends, sat beside them in church, drank coffee with them at friends homes . . . what kind of aroma did they smell coming from me? Or maybe Paul explains this better . . .

“In the Messiah, in Christ, God leads us from place to place

in one perpetual victory parade.

Through us, he brings knowledge of Christ.

Everywhere we go, people breathe in the exquisite fragrance.

Because of Christ, we give off a sweet scent rising to God,

which is recognized by those on the way of salvation—an aroma redolent with life.

But those on the way to destruction treat us more

like the stench from a rotting corpse.”

(2 Corinthians 2:14-16)

So, depending on how we allow the Christ-life within us to seep through our pores, how transparent we are, how we give grace through our facial expressions, our actions or speak with a voice that reminds people of the heart of Jesus . . . is how others will perceive our aroma. Christ’s risen LIFE is within us, but we can choose to let that aroma come out or hide it under our own self-protective ways.

One thought for you to consider this morning.

As you have celebrated Easter this weekend, and enjoyed some good traditions of church services, dinners, chocolate and family reunions . . .  as you have wished each other ‘Happy Easter’ and celebrated this great event in our history . . . how is your aroma?

Can you also celebrate growth in your spiritual life? Have you allowed Jesus to lead and surrendered your heart to follow?  Have you opened yourself up to His plans, His ideas, His convictions? Have you followed through with things that Jesus has asked you to do or obey and experienced the joy of being His follower, his apprentice, his disciple?

Because, if not, then we celebrate Easter as just a tradition . . . separate from our hearts; a dinner, a stressful family reunion, a thing to do, rather than celebration of Jesus’ risen LIFE that now lives within us – changing us, maturing us, growing us – so that we have NEW LIFE to celebrate each year in ourselves and in each other.

Don’t let this Easter weekend pass you by without stopping to celebrate Jesus’ LIFE within you and respond honestly to Him about what that looks like.

He already knows – but He wants to know that you care . . . that you want His life to permeate through every part of You. He has so much to give you, so much love to heal your hurts and breathe hope into your daily life. Find time, make time to get away with Him this weekend and have a chat about your relationship with Him. Don’t let this weekend just slip by. He longs to walk with you – like in the garden of Eden . . . just walk with Him. There is nothing to be afraid of. He invites you.

Emptiness

There is a space, a holy emptiness, where God longs to be.

It is in our hesitation to speak, our restraint to move and our resolve to wait . . . it is in those moments where we have no clue what comes next but instead of scurrying to grasp at control, we wait . . . and we pray. And for some strange reason, we desire to see God intervene MORE than we desire to take control. We long for His intervention MORE than we long for a calculated outcome.

I saw this many times in the past few weeks in the people who have come for spiritual direction. They are weary of control and longing for God’s hand to work in their lives. So they wait and they take a deep breath and they leave room for God to act. And He does.

What if we lived with an emptiness? What if we got used to this space? What if not knowing and waiting became a new normal for us? What then?

Maybe then we could pray this prayer like David did . . . a man who became familiar with that same out-of-control feeling of emptiness and found that God’s grace was enough. Here is what he wrote . . .

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me, Your rod and Your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23

A Letter from God

“Good morning,

I am thinking about you today.

I know you see yourself as lacking or missing something. You feel inadequate about your abilities and are always looking to improve and learn and conquer one more hurdle.

But what if I told you that today, I see you as a child with a lunchbox. Remember that story?  He held up his lunch to me and I just smiled at him.  I’m sure he never thought his lunch would go down in history as famous but he offered it to me anyway. He had food, we needed to feed thousands of people, and he thought maybe his little bread and fish pieces would help. It did. It fed thousands. It made history.

And I imagine it changed that boy’s view of what is possible. I bet the next day when he packed his lunch he didn’t calculate if it would be enough, he knew I had a whole different way of doing things.

I want you to stop measuring the possibilities of what I can do with what you offer. You have no idea what I can do. It will blow your mind! It is NOT about making more money, or helping the maximum amount of people at one time. It is not about knowing what comes next or having goals in your mind that become successful achievements. And it not about securing some degree or qualification that you think will allow you more opportunities.

It is about offering what you have to Me…..your whole lunch, your ideas, your talent, your skills, your love, your energy, your health, your illness . . . everything. Don’t measure, don’t calculate or reason it out. Don’t try to edit or add more into what you have. Just open your lunchbox.

I ask you, ‘What have you got? Can you show me? Bring it over here. Show me regardless of how little you think it is. Look into my eyes, see my smile, and believe that I can do amazing things beyond your imagination.’

There is a whole story left to be written through your life.

So paint, sing, build, engineer, write, design, compose, wipe noses, change bedding, create laws, fix electrical problems, win a gold medal, win an election . . . I created you that way, I am responsible for what is in your lunchbox and I can multiply it and bless others, if you let Me.  Just offer it to me…the rest is My job… The rest is what I do. This is where miracles happen, people are blessed, fed, faith is increased, and the one who offered his lunch gets to watch and be amazed at the part he got to play in the bigger story.

The boy didn’t preach or heal or do anything else but offer what he had in that moment. That is ALL I ask of you today. So . . . what’s in your lunch? “

Thirsty

Jesus said,”Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink.

Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water

will flow from within them.” John 7:37-38




We are a thirsty people. Don’t believe me? Listen for one day to people’s stories and comments and you will hear thirst. It might sound like this:

“I don’t like church these days. It just doesn’t fill me anymore but I feel guilty not going.”

“Parenting is frustrating. I don’t know what I’m doing!”

“My spouse doesn’t understand me. I feel lonely in my marriage.”

“Our financial situation is really stretched right now. . . and there are things I want to buy.”

“So many decisions to make. How do I know what is the right one?

“Life is so busy, so stressful, there is no free time.”

Thirst.

So, we try to quench it with other things: try a new church, parenting seminars, marriage books, financial training, calendar organizing . . . all, which are very good things. . .

But what would happen if we took Jesus up on His offer? What would happen if we truly addressed our thirst as a need that only Jesus could meet? What would that actually look like?

It might sound something like this:

“Lord Jesus, I am thirsty. I feel embarrassed saying that to You because there are so many good things around me and I feel I ‘should’ not feel this way. But there are so many things that are lacking in my life and in the world around me. If I am honest, sometimes I feel lonely, misunderstood, rejected, frustrated, stressed, worried and fearful. I have ways of temporarily regaining control and fixing that thirsty feeling . . . but today, I will try something new.

I will come to You. You promise that You will create rivers of living water within me. That sounds good. That sounds like I would be thirsty no longer. That means that outward circumstances would not affect my thirst. Refreshment would come from within. So, today, I confess that I have been looking outward for refreshment instead…and it has left me thirsty. Here are the things and people I have been expecting or demanding to fulfill me:




I choose to ask You for water, living water. I choose to offer grace to those people and things whom cannot satisfy me. And I will wait and see. . . what Your living water does to my thirst. In faith, I will ask You to refresh me, and I will wait to receive . . . and I will not pursue a quick fix anywhere else. I will wait. . . in the quietness . . . through the external chaos . . . I will wait. “

May you have the courage to take Jesus up on His offer!

(and if you do, I’d love to hear your stories if you are willing to share them!

Write in the comment field or send me an email, let me know if you are willing to publish them here on this site or if not, I’ll just read them privately.)




May you be surprised by Jesus’ refreshment!!!!